ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England -- Wikipedia says the teenage years are defined by a transitional stage of physical and mental development generally occurring between puberty and legal adulthood. This is a really technical way of saying teenagers are going through a lot of changes in their lives.
Teenagers in military families are making even bigger adjustments in their lives as compared to normal teens. In addition to going through moves and deployments, they are going through normal teen life changes, trying to figure out just who they are and where they fit in this world. Everyone who lives with a teenager sees these changes every single day. As parents we want to ensure our kids make the right choices, and there are many ways we can help them.
There are many ways to reduce the chances of your teenager getting involved with alcohol or drugs. One of them is very simple: sit down with them for dinner. It has been proven that eating dinner regularly with your children and teens reduces the risk of their use of drugs and alcohol. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University has consistently found that the more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs. While you are sitting down for dinner, here are some tips from professors at Columbia University: keep the conversation positive, take turns letting everyone talk and encourage your kids to participate in planning and preparation of the meals.
Another way to reduce the chances of your teen getting involved with alcohol or drugs is by teaching them protective factors. What this means is parents can help enhance a teen's skills and competencies to deal with others, school, work and life in general. This is basically accomplished through direct teaching in the home (e.g. say please and thank you, family nights instead of TV nights and watching parents behavior). Something as simple as a meal together is a protective factor to show our kids we want to be with them and we want to listen to what they have to say. Most importantly, it shows our kids they make a difference in our lives.
One other protective factor is the example you give to your kids each and every day. The example that you set for them through your relationships can not be understated. They need to witness healthy, respectful relationships every day in your life, and that will serve as a great example for them in their lives.
Here are a few signs for you that may indicate a troubled teen:
- frequent teacher/student conflicts
- frequent parent/student conflicts
- frequent conflicts with peers
- academic failure or cheating
- lack of involvement in school activities
- high truancy or suspension rates
- alienation, rebelliousness and lack of social bonding
- friends who get in trouble frequently or who use drugs
- early first use of alcohol and/or other drugs including misuse of prescription or over the counter medications
- bullying or being bullied
- shoplifting or stealing within the family or in school
- family history of alcoholism
- parental drug use and parents who allow their student to use with them
- withdrawal from others
- significant change in attitude
- grades
- friends
- dress or interests
- frequent school absences (including those excused by a parent)
- sleeping in class, etc.
If you have concerns about your children and would like some help, there are many options open to you on base. There are have counselors at all of DoDDS schools, you can talk to military family life consultants and you have your primary care provider at the medical group, and the Airman and Family Readiness Center can direct you to many options or resources.