ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England -- Death is not kind. It cloaks every corner of the world with little to no discrimination, stealing away people that are too young, too nice and most loved. Its reality is unforgiving and can only truly be understood by those who have felt its icy fingers.
One Liberty Wing member felt that touch. What started as a beautiful day filled with love, ended with Graham Hingston, 48th Civil Engineer Squadron asset accountability element chief, finding his wife Lynne Hingston, lifeless near their home.
“I went home and had a lovely lunch with my wife. I told her I would be late coming home that evening as I was playing badminton with the guys,” Hingston said “When I got home, I saw she had prepared a meal but wasn’t in the house. Someone knocked at the door and said that the dog was loose in the field. About an hour later, I found Lynne and she had taken her own life.”
The steady tick of a watch, previously inaudible, dominated the space. A rush of air from his lips join the now loud ticking. The shake of his voice belied the steel in his eyes.
“She was gone and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't believe what I was seeing because everything was fine when I left her that day,” he said. “I had no idea that she would take her own life. I don’t believe it. I still don’t believe she meant to do it.”
The Defense Suicide Prevention Office most recent quarterly report indicated that 126 service members took their own lives in the third quarter of the calendar year 2018. Though there is a strong drive for suicide prevention and awareness, the DSPO highlights aide for family members and friends affected by suicide. These numbers do not include the suicide rates of civilian and contractors that become a part of the U.S. military family.
Hingston, a British Local National Direct Hire civilian, has become a part of the 48th CES family throughout his 13 years of service at the Liberty Wing.
Hingston said the outpour of encouragement from the 48th CES family is something he would never forget.
“At the time, then Lt. Col. Jonathan E. Byrnes was the CE commander, he was one of the biggest supporters,” he said. “He would come around my house every day just to sit and have a cry with me. You could see that he felt my pain and that meant so much.”
Though the entire team at 48th CES was so supportive, Hingston felt a sense of desperation, he said.
“I’m quite a strong person mentally, but it rocked me to the core. I just needed someone who knew exactly how it felt,” he said.
Those left behind after a loved one takes their life are forever changed. It affects the family members, friends and members of the unit of the departed personnel.
David Ryan, 48th CES chief of engineering flight, was personally inspired and felt the need to show Hingston that the Liberty Wing was behind him. Through his support, he also wanted to bring awareness in a show of resiliency and strength by hosting a 24-hour bike ride here.
“The bike ride initially started as a way for me to get everyone together to show our support,” Ryan said. “I was so grateful for the level of dedication the volunteers showed.”
The bike ride was a success and riders completed almost 2,000 miles collectively around the flightline.
Ryan was proud to see Airmen, civilians and wing leadership attend the event to show support and shed light on this silent struggle.
Suicide is a complex issue and leaves a void in those left behind - the survivors. Losing one to suicide leaves doubts and questions as survivors can never fully understand “why”.
“I think people tend to think everyone will be better off without them but that is the furthest thing from the truth," Hingston said. “It affects me on a daily basis and it probably always will. I have to get better because I know Lynne would want me to be better.”