The long, hard road to recovery Published March 17, 2010 By Tech. Sgt. Christopher Campbell 48th Fighter Wing Public Affairs ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England -- (Editor's Note: This is the third in a four part series about my recovery from shoulder surgeries) "Pain is just a state of mind. You can think your way out of everything, even pain," a quote from the author and screenwriter Rodman Philbrick. I don't think he ever had shoulder surgery, or any surgery for that matter; if he had, his point of view might be different. I have heard many people, throughout my life, tell me to work through the pain, run past the pain or learn from your pain. I thought that I had endured some extreme pain both physically and mentally, but I was wrong. If I was told I could only take one thing away from my experience with rehabilitation, it would be this: your recovery is determined by what you put into it and how you persevere through adversity. There is no one else to blame or to adulate but you. What you put into your rehabilitation is exactly what you will get out of it. Yes, there will be some mountains to climb and every now and then a pothole will jump out and hit you hard. How you handle that will make or break your timeline, and yes, I speak from experience. I also feel it explains a lot about someone's character, whether you are a person who 'licks your wounds' or you are one to 'get right back on the horse'. Tanya Campbell, spouse extraordinaire, states "You are a stubborn individual, if you get something in your mind you will do everything possible to attain it, sometimes I feel you push yourself to far." I state all of this because I cruised through the mountains and swerved past the potholes with my first bout of rehab, but I am a magnet for potholes and I feel like I have been climbing Mount Everest (another goal of mine) during this second bout of rehab. Right now, I have graduated to performing push-ups on my knees. You must have a personal goal to get through the rough times. A shorter timeline is nice but sometimes it is unrealistic. What worked for me was smaller goals, not so much a timeline that the therapist goals to get to the next phase and closer to the end. My goal is a personal one, but one I will share. I want to carry my youngest on my shoulders again. I have come to the fact that I will not be able to carry my 12 -year old son, Alex, anymore but it is difficult to have my six-year -old daughter, Mia, continually ask to ride on my shoulders only to tell her no. It breaks my heart because it is something I have shared with both my children and wish to continue until they are just too much or it just isn't cool anymore. Whatever happens, I cannot stress enough that when the times are tough you need to push through it, endure your pain because the end is attainable. I have had several relapses, and right now, I am going through one. I have a screw in my left shoulder that is protruding out a little, and as Maj. Kenneth Bode, 48th Medical Group Orthopedic surgeon likes to say, my muscles are 'aggravated' or the screw is irritating them. I think he underplays my anguish and suffering. When a finger is smashed by a hammer... that is what the feeling is like, and a natural reaction to pain is to move the area but that makes it worse, it's a sharp stabbing pain for which there is no comfort. My office mate finds it hysterical the gyrations I put myself through to alleviate my pain. I will get my revenge, just wait and see. It's enough to afford someone the opportunity to throw in the towel, at least maybe a wise one. However, even with all of my flowing gray hair, wise is not an adjective that has been used in describing me--stubborn yes, wise not so much. I am far from perfect though--just ask my wife--my trails are also my own doing, not following the prescription that my therapist Maj. Stephan gave me to a t. Again we only have ourselves to blame for this. Major Stephan has seen that with my rehab one truth has remained constant and that is I try. Sometimes my form is not right or I am compensating, but the desire is there. Don't get me wrong, the attention is great. Having your wife bathe you is nice, for the first time, but six weeks isn't a nice bonding time for any couple. General Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog." I like to think of myself as a boxer.