Commentary: Love isn't an excuse Published Dec. 10, 2013 By Anonymous 48th Fighter Wing Public Affairs ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England -- At 17 years old, during my senior year of high school, I knew everything. I was undefeated in tennis, I was crowned the 2009 Prom Queen, I was accepted to my number-one choice for college, and I was in love. My life was perfect. My whole life, up until then, I was always focused on my academics and my athletics; I never had time for distractions. That all changed when I met him. I just knew that we would be together forever. He was my first boyfriend and everything was perfect. Six months into the relationship, my friends began to warn me about his behavior. I ignored them because they didn't know him the way I did. They were jealous that I was in love. In the fall of 2009, it was time to leave for college. I was leaving my parents, my friends and my boyfriend for the first time, to start a new chapter in my life. My boyfriend took it the hardest - he didn't want me to leave. That's when I first saw what my friends had been warning me about. A month before I was scheduled to move into my new dorm, I was supposed to go shopping with my friends for linens and different things to decorate my new living space. I never made it out that night. It started out as a normal day watching movies with my boyfriend. He told me he was nervous about me leaving for college. What if I found someone better, he wondered. I told him he was crazy and reminded him that I loved him. He didn't say another word. I was laying on his chest when his fist slammed against my face. Adrenaline pulsed through my body. I couldn't move--I couldn't even cry. His face showed no emotion as he laid back on his bed like nothing had happened. I gained my bearing, gathered my things, and I left him. The longest month of my life passed, and I was finally able to move into my dorm. He came to visit me my first weekend at college and, with tears in his eyes, he apologized. I took him back on the spot. I loved him after all. Every weekend I would go home to be with him. Months passed and he was my perfect boyfriend again; until the weekend I didn't come home. He drove the two hours to my school, banged on my bedroom door and, when I opened it, everything went black. I'm not sure how long I was unconscious before my roommate returned. Thankfully, it was the last time I saw him. At the age of 22, I joined the Air Force. I took my anger and aggression from the betrayal and I turned those feelings into something positive to help me get through the toughest two months of my life. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Nowadays, I don't hate him. I don't feel anything for him. With the help of resources provided by the Air Force and my fellow wingmen, I have regained respect for myself and control of my life. The 48th Medical Operations Squadron Family Advocacy Program is the primary office responsible for preventing and treating men, women and children that are, or have been, victims of domestic violence on Royal Air Forces Feltwell, Mildenhall and Lakenheath. The goal of the program is to improve mission readiness by supporting families and building positive relationships. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: · One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. · An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. · Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal, intimate - partner violence. The Family Advocacy Program is available to promote the prevention, early identification, reporting and treatment of child abuse and neglect and domestic violence. They provide effective treatment for all family members, when appropriate. "Our door is always open," said Lauren Lamont, 48th MDOS, Family Advocacy Program assistant. "We're here to help. The biggest thing is to let survivors know that they can come in, and it is always about them and finding them help." The Family Advocacy Program offers restricted reporting options for victims of partner abuse. Restricted reporting provides the opportunity for victims to receive treatment, without the information being reported to law enforcement or military leadership. If you wish to make a restricted report please call the Family Advocacy Program directly to inquire about your options. However, restrictions do apply for safety reasons. To learn more about identifying and stopping domestic violence and other forms of abuse, contact the Family Advocacy Program at DSN 226-8070 or commercial 01638-528-070, or visit www.thesafespace.org.