How did you learn about dating, boundaries, intimacy?

  • Published
  • By Courtesy of the Lakenheath School Liaison Office
  • 48th Fighter Wing Public Affairs
ROYAL AIR FORCE LAKENHEATH, England --  (Editor's Note: This piece was submitted to the DoDDS School Liaison Office, and the author wishes to remain anonymous.)

I learned about dating and boundaries by watching TV and talking to my female relatives who had boyfriends. It was not the best way to learn about such an important life skill.

As I saw the fairytales on television and watched the after-school specials, I knew enough to be aware, but I still didn't understand how to have a boyfriend and still have boundaries and choices. To me, there weren't any. I didn't understand I could establish boundaries or make my own choices.

I started dating at an early age--middle school to be exact--but I wasn't ready to handle the insecurities of whether or not he'd still like me after the football game. I didn't understand my insecurities were tied to intimacy, and because many of my friends were 'messing around' with boys, I felt an immense amount of peer pressure to do the same.

I didn't want to talk to my parents because I didn't think they would understand what school was like for me. I wish there had been ways aside from health class to understand the choices I could have made to handle the peer pressure and not do things with which I wasn't comfortable.

I believe the "Can I Kiss You" tour can be the missing piece to the puzzle that will allow young adults to understand and openly communicate with their parents and peers about healthy dating relationships. Speaking to them at this age is vital to correct the misinformation they'll get from their peers and believe to be true because their parents don't talk to them about the importance of creating healthy relationships.

The presenter, Mike Domitrz, seems to understand how to make learning about such a private and sensitive issue of growing up fun and engaging.

Mr. Domitrz will conduct two presentations about this topic at the Lakenheath High School Auditorium on March 31. One will be at 12:30 p.m. for high school students', the second will be at 6 p.m. for parents and their children.

Mr. Domitrz's presentations aim to encourage young adults to ask "Can I kiss you", because he believes doing so takes away the pressure of the situation, eliminates potential confusion and sets a clear set of boundaries for both individuals.