• British Billy turns back the clocks

    There's going to be an extra hour for you all to enjoy on Sunday Oct. 28, and I am already trying to decide whether it would be best spent sleeping, eating or hunting. Truth be told, it makes little difference to me. I live in the moment and refuse to be a slave to the ticking hands of time. British

  • British Billy limbers up for the Olympics

    It has come to my attention that there will be 12 horses, 10 chickens and 70 sheep at the Olympic opening ceremony in London this coming Friday, July 27. No cats - well, not in an official capacity. I am sure that a few of my feline friends who frequent Stratford in London's East End, home of the

  • British Billy anticipates St. Swithin's Day, July 15

    According to British folklore, if it rains on July 15, St. Swithin's Day, it means we can expect 40 more days of rain. As the old rhyme goes:"St. Swithin's day, if ye do rain, For forty days it will remain; St. Swithin's day, if ye be fair, For forty days 'twill rain nae mair."You may have noticed

  • Why are there so many fish and chip shops in the U.K.?

    I have tried to persuade the one who cooks at my house that a cat of my refined tastes should have freshly cooked fish each evening, but my mews fall upon deaf ears. Fish is good for my brain, my fur, my agility, and I am worth it. Thankfully, fish and chips are the fast food of choice in our house.

  • British Billy meets Pudsey Bear

    We all have role models whose values and lifestyle we admire. Pudsey Bear is mine. Cats don't naturally revere others; we tend to regard ourselves as the pinnacle of creation. Pudsey, however, is a remarkable bear. With his trademark polka-dot handkerchief bandaging his right eye, he serves as the

  • British Billy's guide to spelling

    As a wise cat of some experience, I have come to appreciate that variety is the spice of life not only when it comes to the meat selections in my food pouches, but in most areas of existence. I have heard disparaging comments from Americans about 'weird British spelling' and one or two less than

  • What is Bonfire Night all about?

    As I was out and about on one of my territorial patrols, I noticed the early stages of a bonfire being built in a neighbouring garden. 'Here comes Bonfire Night again!' I thought to myself. I plan to spend the next few evenings curled up indoors, paws over my ears. From now until Nov. 5, England

  • How can I learn to play conkers?

    Ah, Autumn. Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness. How I love chasing around after the falling leaves and grooming my winter fur into pristine condition. It has come to my attention that some of you are complaining about the shorter days, the rain, the fog and the wind. A game of conkers is just

  • Why are there so many roundabouts in the U.K.?

    So you noticed the roundabouts on your travels, did you? We Brits do like to dot them about frequently on our roads and find they are a civilizing influence. If cats could drive, we'd be great at roundabouts. With our keen senses and alert demeanor, they wouldn't pose much of a problem. Awareness of

  • Would you 'Adam and Eve' it!

    "Oi mate! Grab your weasel and titfer and let's go out for a Ruby. And don't you get Uncle Dick this time. What a pen and ink!" If you watch any London-based British TV programmes such as 'Eastenders' or 'Only Fools and Horses', this may not sound like total gibberish. It is an example of the use of